Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Barack's Beast Bettered by Britain's Baby Beast

Barack Obama's recent unplanned introduction to the vagaries of the European road system caused a flurry of concern in Downing Street, where the British Prime Minister David Cameron had been busily planning for the impending visit of the US President and his wife. Hoping to avoid a similar embarrassment to the one which occurred as the presidential cavalcade left the US Embassy in Dublin, the PM instructed MI5 to come up with a solution - fast. “After all,” he said, “Britain's road system is exactly the same as Ireland's.”

A spokesperson for Downing Street denied that the PM was concerned that recent budget cuts had undermined his belief in the British police “to be able to look after the President properly”, stating that “the PM had full confidence in the British security services”. He also added that "such an amateur over site by the US Secret Service in their own back yard would never occur on British soil if British security personnel were involved, I can assure you."

“Despite such fears, in the spirit of the 'special relationship' that still exists between the UK and the US, the PM has decided to offer the President and the First Lady full use of a British, purpose built Baby Beast that won't get stuck on any bumpy bits, and costs just a fraction of the 'safest car in the world’.”

British writer Diem Burden, the proud owner of the black 1996 Rover Mini limo, stated, “The Baby Beast, or Burp as I like to call it, might not be the safest car in the world but it does go over bumps with ease, and it’s probably the most environmentally friendly limo in the world. Plus, it looks cool. British cool.’

A spokesperson for the Obama administration declined to comment, stating that they never discuss the President’s security arrangements.

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